


Crazy Ex-Boyfriend

by darlingDesires



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series)
Genre: :(, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Crying, Cute, Depression, F/M, If you've seen the show you know where this is going, It's Jasper, It's going to be cute I promise, Love, M/M, Pining, Romance, Uhh kind of suicide attempt but also totally not really, but - Freeform, except, it's in the summary so, tags to be updated, that one 'busted' song from phinneas and ferb
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-08 19:29:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14700693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darlingDesires/pseuds/darlingDesires
Summary: Jasper pressed his back against the wall of the miscellaneous building behind him and reached into his jacket, grabbing a bottle of prescription pills. He tried to open them, but his hands were shaking so badly that when the bottle opened, the pills scattered across the ground like so many pearls from a broken necklace. He groaned in frustration, throwing the empty bottle at the ground where it bounced once until it rolled to a stop at the gutter. He took a deep breath, sliding down the wall, clasping his hands together.“Dear God, I don’t pray to you because I believe in science, but I don’t know what to do. Give me guidance. Please. I just need a sign.”





	1. Where Dreams Live

**Author's Note:**

> Hi it's just Crazy Ex-Girlfriend tweaked to fit Camp Camp, enjoy

“Mr. and Mrs. Buchanan!” Jasper chimed with a wave as David’s parents got out of the car, walking towards where the campers were waiting to be picked up. “It’s so nice to meet you. I have to tell you, Davey has been a dynamo this summer. Color war champion, tidiest tent three weeks in a row…”

“I’ll explain all of that later,” David excused, turning to Jasper. “Jas, can I talk to you for a second?”

“Sure,” Jasper replied nonchalantly, though inside his heart was beating fast and he was fighting back giving the most wonderful person he’d ever met a great, big kiss.

David pulled the two of them aside, making sure his parents were out of earshot before he began talking. “So--uh, Jas, since this is the last day of camp--”

“Yes. Yes, it is. Where does the time go?” Jasper sighed lovingly with a smile, “Oh, David Buchanan, my lil’ Davey, Session B has been a whirlwind and you... you’ve been my rock. You know, up until this summer, I didn’t really know I was ever destined to love someone.”

“It…  _ has _ been a really great summer, but--” He was cut off by Jasper’s mom honking her car horn impatiently. She’d arrived, and she didn’t want to wait any longer than absolutely necessary, as per usual.

Jasper groaned, turning to project his voice towards the car. “One  _ second _ , mom!” He turned back towards David. “Let’s talk schedule! I can use my dad’s frequent flyer miles to visit you during Yom Kippur break--”

“--that’s great, but uh, what I was gonna say was…” he now had Jasper’s full attention, and it wasn’t easy. “Um, I got a lot of commitments coming up. Soccer, babysitting, I’m taking a few extra classes next year…”

“Mhm,” Jasper nodded obliviously, making things all the more difficult for David.

“Also, I just think we’re really different. You’re like… really dramatic and like… weird?” David said. When he was met with a confused glance, he breathed in deeply and sighed, resting a hand on his neck. “What I’m saying is, maybe we should take a break.”

“But… but I love you…” Jasper whispered, feeling his heart sinking into the deepest pits of his stomach.

“What’s going on?” Jasper’s mom exclaimed, marching up to the two wearing a look that read  _ ‘I didn’t have coffee this morning and my patience is at zero’ _ . “Jasper, it’s time to go. I’m not going to just wait around like I’m your chauffeur.”

“Mom, hold  _ on _ , conversation in progress!” Jasper retorted in frustration, gesturing between himself and David. Maybe the anger was misplaced, but David was trying to break up with him and Jasper wanted the time to show David that he could still be a good boyfriend. Even outside of camp, even with busy schedules, even miles apart… he could still be there for him. This didn’t have to be the end of it.

“That’s okay, I gotta go,” David excused, taking a step back towards his parents wearing a polite smile that was customary for strangers, or friends… not for people who shared the best summer of their life. Jasper’s frustration melted into desperation--David just wanted to end the conversation like that, he really did.

“No, no, you don’t gotta go,” Jasper said hurriedly. He could see the awkward gaze in David’s eyes, and knew he had to act quick, pointing to his mom with one hand, other hand flexed in anxiety. “ _ She  _ gotta go. We--we’re still talking, right?”

“You’re a great kid, take care,” David replied softly, tentatively, backing away a few steps before turning and walking off as Jasper’s mom began dragging him to her car.

“What? What is he-- I’m not a kid! We’re the same age, Davey!” Jasper called desperately after him, struggling against his mom. He just needed the chance. He just needed to show David--to  _ prove _ to David, he just needed five more minutes, five more minutes--

As the car departed from the camp’s parking lot, his mom began bombarding him with angry questions.  _ Who is that boy? Why were you so desperate to stay? You didn’t get into any trouble, did you? Are you still a virgin?  _ Jasper didn’t answer any of them. His head only spun, and his mind raced as the car puttered further and further away from Camp Campbell.

 

Ten years later, Jasper’s life was much different than he had ever thought it would be. Living in New York, working for a high-class law firm. His mom always wanted him to be a lawyer, and he was. Everything was great and fun.

However great and fun, Jasper’s apartment was possibly the most depressing sight, under-furnished and lonely. No curtains, no wall-coverings, no one bothered to take the time to make it look nice or presentable or anything but bland necessities. On the nightstand sat a row of prescription meds, along with a half-empty glass of water and sleeping pills. In the bed next to him was his computer, laying where another person might if his love life ever got better.

He looked over at the computer screen, hazily scanning over his dating profile: the one with a picture of a forced smile as the profile photo, with the rest of it blank. No interests, hobbies, and no notifications. He closed the page, revealing a medical site he’d kept open in the background just in case, titled  _ ‘How long can a person go without sleep?’ _ before closing the lid of his laptop in defeat, expression as depressed as his apartment.

The television caught his attention, when one advertisement seemed a little louder than the rest. “Silky ribbons of butter with only 90 calories an ounce…” he wasn’t sure exactly why his gaze was attracted to the butter commercial, but he couldn’t help it, turning his head to watch as a giant knife spread butter on a bagel with a dreamy blue sky backdrop. “What are you waiting for? Spread it… indulge… ask yourself, when was the last time you were truly happy?

Jasper stared at the advertisement with his head tilted to the side, like a dog who’d heard an odd noise, wondering to himself; why was he so deeply struck by that butter commercial? Something inside him seemed to stir at that, but he couldn’t tell exactly what it was, or…  _ why _ it was.

 

Jasper strode into the office as he always did--well-dressed, on time, staring at the paperwork he picked up from his box, and always walking as if he was late for something. His assistant stood from her desk, striding to keep up with him as he made his way to his office.

“‘Morning,” he greeted, stopping outside of the office as he shuffled the papers in his grip around, “Have the guys from Corcoran called back about the loan approval yet?” When he received no response, he looked up to see his assistant smiling brightly. He narrowed his eyes slightly--less so in concern, more so in (slightly) annoyed curiosity. “What? What’s wrong?”

“Laura wants to see you,” she said, clearly holding back some sort of laughter that Jasper had a difficult time identifying.

Jasper sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Oh god. Why?”

“You’re getting promoted. To  _ partner _ ,” She said with glee, gesturing to where Laura stood with her company partner, smiling at Jasper. “ _ Right now. _ ”

Jasper looked over towards Laura, who waved. Even through the exciting news, he found himself not smiling, and instead he only felt emptiness in his chest, gut, and mind. “Now?”

“It’s a surprise, sorry, but I couldn’t help it,” the assistant admitted guiltily with a smile.

Jasper did a quick recap of the situation--he was working for one of New York’s most successful law firms, and he was about to be promoted to the highest position in the company--before he forced a smile. “Wow. This is so great! This is fantastic, right?”

The assistant nodded vigorously, failing to hide her bright smile. “Mh-hm!”

“I mean, this is just objectively fantastic--Like, on paper fantastic, right?” Jasper’s grin spread, and he laughed softly, face crinkling in thought. His gaze fell to the magazine in the assistant’s hands, and the advertisement on the back of it stood out to him.  _ When was the last time you were truly happy? _

Jasper looked at Laura, who seemed to be setting something up in the conference room, then back at the assistant, who was expectantly waiting for Jasper’s next words. Which… were nothing like what she thought. Jasper shook his head, starting to walk away. “I’m sorry. I just need to go get a smoothie.”

He began to walk more quickly out of the office--no, he almost  _ ran _ out of the office, with an audience of confused lawyers, interns, and assistants watching after him. His assistant called out, “Where are you--”

“Didn’t eat breakfast. Need some quick protein,” Jasper lied, exiting the offices and taking the elevator to the ground floor.

When he’d left the building, he found himself almost jogging, breathing shallow as his mind racing. He traveled down to the alley, smile on his face, shaking his head at himself with a laugh. “I’m happy. I’m so happy. Mom’s gonna be so happy. This is what happy feels like. It’s great. Happy feels great and amazing.”

Jasper pressed his back against the wall of the miscellaneous building behind him and reached into his jacket, grabbing a bottle of prescription pills. He tried to open them, but his hands were shaking so badly that when the bottle opened, the pills scattered across the ground like so many pearls from a broken necklace. He groaned in frustration, throwing the empty bottle at the ground where it bounced once until it rolled to a stop at the gutter. He took a deep breath, sliding down the wall, clasping his hands together.

“Dear God, I don’t pray to you because I believe in science, but I don’t know what to do. Give me guidance. Please. I just need a sign.” Jasper took another deep breath in, and exhaled it out for good measure. When he opened his eyes, he looked up, and the first thing he noticed was a giant billboard plastered against the side of the building across the way, advertising imagery of a knife spreading butter on a bagel.  _ When was the last time you were truly happy? _ read the billboard. Jasper furrowed his brows in confusion, exhaling the breath he didn’t know he was holding in. “What a weird ad campaign.”

The arrow-shaped sign beneath the billboard read ‘PARKING’ in faded, peeling letters. It twitched, catching itself for a moment, then one end fell, pointing down towards the street. Jasper followed the arrow, and… it seemed to be pointing to someone. Someone with red hair, and what looked like a cheery disposition… and… familiar. He looked really familiar. “Davey?”

Jasper picked himself off the ground and ran after him, slowing down to make sure he was presentable and didn’t seem like a creep running at him from the alley. He was sure it was David, so he smoothed down the front of his suit and made sure his hair was perfect before he called out the name again. “Davey!”

David turned back and it took him a moment before he recognized the well-dressed blonde in front of him, smiling broadly. “Jasper Martens, oh my god.”

“David Buchanan, appearing out of nowhere after ten years,” Jasper said with the broadest, most genuine smile he’s given in a long time. He felt his phone vibrate from a text message, but he ignored it. David was here. “That is so weird. So weird, right? So  _ weird _ , haha!”

“You know, I always hoped I’d run into you one day,” David laughed a little, pocketing his phone as he turned to fully face Jasper. He looked the same as he did in summer camp, only much taller, and… much more handsome. His face had matured. Jasper could only wonder what else had matured. “We had such a great time that summer. You probably don’t even remember it…”

“I remember some…” Jasper started, not wanting to seem too eager, but he paused before laughing, admitting, “All of it. I remember all of it. Of course I do!” The two smiled for a moment, almost awkwardly, before Jasper continued. “So… you live in New York?”

“Yeah, for the past year or so,” David confirmed, shifting his weight from one side to the other..

“I can’t believe that. I had no idea you were here, we could have been hanging out…” Jasper trailed off breathlessly, exhaling, smiling.  _ Cool it. You’re losing the cool. _

“Yeah, we totally could’ve been,” The redhead agreed, .

“So, let’s campe that diem,” Jasper said, raising his arms in a shrug and wavering for a moment with a laugh. Maybe referencing the camp in such an obscure way wasn’t the best course of action, but it seemed like David got it. “The firm gave me tickets to the premiere of  _ Rigoletto _ on Thursday--”

“Oh, man, I love plays but I’m…” David’s face cringed slightly, shrugging with an awkward smile. “This is kinda weird, I’m actually moving, like, this week.”

“New apartment, cool.” Jasper ignored a second phone vibration--longer, he missed a call--since he was much more invested in the man in front of him.

David shook his head. “No, I’m actually moving back home. “

It took Jasper a second to process this. Here was the love of his fifteen-year-old summer life, reunited after ten years, and he was moving out of town. “What?”

“Yeah, I have been trying to make it work here in the Big Apple and it’s been so tough, then one day I realized, why get stuck in a rat race? I mean, what’s the point, right?” David smiled, and his whole disposition cheered up when he imagined it. It made Jasper smile just to see him like that. “The thing is, it’s so awesome back home. So calm, so relaxed. Out there, everyone is like... I don’t know, it’s like they’re.... happy.”

“Happy…” Jasper echoed, glancing back to where the butter billboard was for a split second before he refocused everything on David again. “Where are you from, again?”

“Sleepy Peak!” David said with pride.

“Sleepy Peak. I remember that, right…” Jasper didn’t remember it. At all. “It’s near that one lake, right?”

“Exactly. I’m really excited to just take it easy, breathe for a while, get in touch with some old friends...” David trailed off, smiling, happy.

“Oh, friends! Fun,” Jasper commented.  _ I don’t have friends. _

“Man, if I’d known you’d turn out to be so successful and hot,” David gave a little laugh, looking to the side slightly, tilting his head at an angle while he rubbed his neck with his hand, “I let a good one get away, huh?” Jasper had to do everything in his power to keep himself from swooning. David was smiling. He continued, dropping his hand, “We really did have a lot of fun that summer, didn’t we?”

“Yeah, I was so… what’s the word…” Jasper was distracted by the sound of banging, and looked up into the office building, where his assistant was frantically gesturing for him to come back. “Alright, guess I gotta go, but let’s get a drink one night!”

“Uh. Moving,” David said sheepishly.

“Oh. Right.” Jasper reminded himself to die later for saying that.

“But if you ever head out West, look me up, okay? Here’s my number,” David said, and Jasper typed it into his phone with glee. 

“Yeah, I’ll do that… it’ll be great,” Jasper said with a smile.

 

“Jasper, you are the hardest working young lawyer we’ve ever seen. You work 24/7, have never taken a sick day,” Laura said, and her partner nodded. “We know this job is your whole world. These are just some of the reasons we’d like to offer you the position of... Junior Partner.”

Jasper beamed at that, but it was empty. His gaze drifted out the window for a moment before it snapped back onto Laura, staring. “Laura, you are…  _ so _ kind. Thank you.”

Laura smiled, and seemed as though she was going to say something more before Jasper continued.

”You know, time is a funny thing... Sometimes time itself tells you it’s time to move on to other moments in time…” he had no idea what he was saying, and ended up confusing himself as he rose from the stiff chair in the conference room, “And when that time arrives you can’t really predict it or explain it, you just have to obey the ticking clock that is destiny. And I think that this is that time.”

“What?” Laura asked, confused.

“Another opportunity has knocked on my door…” Jasper began, thinking of how to beat around the bush, nodding, “So I respectfully decline, I’m so sorry.”

“Is it another firm?” The other partner asked, furrowing his brows in confusion, folding his hands in front of him.

“...It’s best if we don’t talk about it,” Jasper dodged, “Goodbye.”

“Wait, just tell me, is it Cromwell?” Laura asked.

“It’s not in New York.”

“Boston, Chicago?” She was getting desperate, and she stood as well, taking a few steps towards Jasper.

“No, Laura…” Jasper grabbed his messenger bag, leaning in with the biggest smile on his face. “It’s where dreams live.”


	2. "That's crazy! I know him!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He grabbed his phone and plopped down on the couch, pressing ‘new message’ and selecting David’s contact. What to type, what to type…
> 
> Hey dude! Jasper Martens here. ‘Member you said if I was ever in Sleepy Peak I should give you a buzz? Well... Buzz! [bee emoji] Anyway, was thinking we could have dinner… No. Too forward.
> 
> Coffee… Nope. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
> 
> Breakfast… No. Gross. Delete. What’s wrong with me?
> 
> ...Whatevs. Anywho gimme me a shout... SO WEIRD, RIGHT??? LOL.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the re-upload, appARENTLY archive doesn't respond well to emojis

As soon as the plane landed in the closest airport and the bus took Jasper into town, he knew he’d fallen in love with… Sleepy Peak. It was so much smaller that New York, much more calm, and just… much  _ better _ .

Jasper’s new apartment had all of the old furniture, but the new spirit of a man in love, so nothing seemed nearly as sad as it had back in New York. His first night there, he’d slept better than he had in possibly years, and awoke with a smile on his face. He pinned it on the relaxed atmosphere and the euphoric vibes he got just by being there.

He put on a pair of overall-shorts and wore them over his old tee-shirt from camp--almost dressed like a child--humming and smiling to himself as he practically skipped into the kitchen. He put his medicine bag up on the counter, setting the pill bottles in a neat little line before opening them one by one and emptying them into the kitchen sink. When his phone rang, he blindly accepted, setting the phone next to his bag on speaker phone.

“Jasper, I just checked the Facebook,” his mom said. Her tone might’ve been mistaken for panicky if it wasn’t so angry. “You moved to  _ Sleepy Peak _ ? What are you  _ doing _ ? I hope this isn’t another stunt like your little “suicide attempt” in law school, you didn’t even break your skin and you inconvenienced a lot of people, your Aunt Nancy was--” Jasper hung up the phone with a smile, running the garbage disposal and watching his medication crush down the drain.

He grabbed his phone and plopped down on the couch, pressing ‘new message’ and selecting David’s contact. What to type, what to type…

_ Hey dude! Jasper Martens here. ‘Member you said if I was ever in Sleepy Peak I should give you a buzz? Well... Buzz! _  [bee emoji] _ Anyway, was thinking we could have dinner…  _ No. Too forward.

_ Coffee…  _ Nope. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

_ Breakfast…  _ No. Gross. Delete. What’s wrong with me?

_...Whatevs. Anywho gimme me a shout... SO WEIRD, RIGHT??? LOL. _

Jasper smiled satisfactorily, watching his phone in anticipation. For several minutes, he sat there, staring, smile only slightly faltering. He sighed, setting his phone down on the coffee table and walking into the other room.

About an hour later, Jasper had completely forgotten about his phone--that is, until he heard it  _ ding!  _ in the other room. He stumbled over the kitchen chair and grabbed the counter to momentarily right himself, speedily rushing towards his phone. He picked it up with a smile, opening it to see:  _ NEW DATA USAGE PLAN! SAVE 3$/MONTH TEXT YES FOR MORE INFO!  _

Jasper sighed and dropped his phone onto the couch, collapsing next to it in defeat. Before he knew it, he’d fallen asleep, and he awoke the next morning in the exact same position. Jasper checked his phone to no avail, sighing, rolling his eyes and slipping his phone into his pocket as he headed into his room to change for work.

 

“I hope you don’t mind, but I handed out copies of your resume,” Cameron Campbell said with a polite smile. As the two toured the firm, everyone seemed to be regarding the blonde oddly; resumes in hand and suspicions raised. Jasper just shook his head at Cameron and held out a hand as if to say,  _ it’s fine _ . “We’re just so honored... and confused, frankly, to have an attorney of your caliber here.”

When the tour of the office ended at Cameron’s desk, Jasper smiled. “Cameron Campbell, huh? I think I went to your summer camp  _ ages _ ago.” When Cameron raised his eyebrows, Jasper waved his hands dismissively. “Eons,  _ eons _ ago. Long time ago. Way before the…”

“Yeah,” Cameron cut him off with a firm nod.

“Uh… Anyway, I have a question,” Jasper began, checking his phone for the billionth time that morning. He looked up at Cameron with a raised eyebrow and a slight smile. “Is there a problem with cell phone service in Sleepy Peak? See, I have a feeling this text I sent a friend isn’t going through to him…”

“No-- no, none that I can think of,” Cameron replied. Jasper nodded, and Cameron began to say something else, but Jasper couldn’t help overhearing a conversation a few cubicles away.

“I don’t get it. You see this resume? Harvard, Yale, special skills: Mandarin? Did he get this out of a resume book? What the hell is he doing here?” Exclaimed a woman with pale-ish skin and deep, borderline purple hair. There was a little pause, where she was presumably taking in the reaction of someone a lot quieter. “Exactly! No sense.”

Cameron noticed Jasper’s gaze, and so did the woman who was talking. “Jasper! This is Darla.”

“Oh, great, hi!” Jasper smiled, holding out a hand to shake. “Are you my assistant? I’m gonna need a ton of help getting my computer set up, I’m a total spaz about that.”

Darla narrowed her eyes as they shook hands. Cameron chimed in, “Actually, Darla is our head paralegal.”

“Oh,” Jasper raised his eyebrows, jaw dropping slightly, closing it with a firm nod.  _ Idiot. _ “I’m so sorry.”

“Two years of training, six months of night school, fifteen years of experience, but never mind,” Darla laughed. Jasper cringed slightly. “So, what brings you to our lovely Sleepy Peak?”

Jasper shrugged his shoulders up, stalling for a moment. “Just looking for a change.”

“Oh, I see.” Darla still seemed suspicious, but she let it go for the moment. “Well, welcome aboard.”

“Let me show you to your office,” Cameron diverted, waving Jasper away from the cubical. They arrived, and Jasper set his messenger bag on the chair, checking out the view from the window. It wasn’t high up above the ground like his office in New York, but his deep, undying love for… Sleepy Peak made it worth it.

Jasper felt his phone buzz with an alert, and he was quick to retrieve it from his pocket, reading the notification:  _ David has checked in at: “Home Base: Sleepy Peak”! _

“Oh! That’s a… client, a potential client, and I’ve got to go,” Jasper excused, “let’s touch base later, yeah?” he re-grabbed his bag and rushed out the door before anyone could say otherwise.

 

_ Home Base Sports Facility _ was a sports complex with baseball diamonds and astroturf everywhere. The sign was crisp and well-kept, and the children in uniforms ran around rampantly with their parents in tow. Jasper noticed a small building near it, marked as  _ Home Base Bar And Grill _ .

He pushed through the door, and was met with several loud parties of celebrating teams, bored adults, and a bar in the middle of it all. After circling the room once or twice, he settled on a seat at the bar, tapping his fingers as he continued to scan the room.

“You look lost,” commented the bartender with a slight smile.

“I’m just here for some baseball,” Jasper said, smiling back. A quick glance to his name tag told him he was named Robyn.

“Sounds good, what can I get you?”

“Uh,” Jasper replied distractedly, “beer. Any kind.”

The bartender kept his eyes on Jasper as he grabbed a beer, popping the cap off, placing it on a napkin and sliding it towards Jasper. “You from around here? I’ve never seen you before.”

“Actually, I just moved to town from New York.”

“Seriously?” Robyn smiled as Jasper took a sip of his drink. “I love New York. What brings you here?”

“Work and... I’m actually here because I’m meeting a friend, but…” Jasper scanned the room again. “I don’t see him…”

“Great, maybe I know him. Is he 8- years-old? Or an alcoholic? Cause that’s what we got here,” Robyn joked, preparing a drink for someone a few seats down. Jasper’s eyes were still lost in the crowd. “You’re a great listener.”

“Huh?” Jasper asked, pursing his lips and turning back towards the other, who just laughed.

“Exactly.” Robyn smiled. For a moment, he seemed to be remembering something. “You know, a buddy of mine just moved back from New York, guy I grew up with. Kinda.”

“Really?” Jasper asked all too eagerly.

“Yeah. But there’s no way you know him. It’s a big city, right?”

“I might--” Jasper took a breath in, repeating in a much calmer voice, “I might. What’s his name?”

“David Buchanan.”

“Oh my god. Are you kidding?” Jasper laughed a little louder than intended. “That’s  _ crazy! _ I know him!”

“Seriously? That’s crazy. He was just here, actually. You  _ just _ missed him. That’s his beer,” Robyn chuckled, gesturing to a beer perched a bit down the bar.

“Oh, god damn it,” Jasper whispered, turning back to Robyn with a smile. “Yeah, it’s actually a funny story. I was living in New York, looking to relocate to somewhere else ‘cause I love lakes and the forest, run into David, he tells me how  _ great _ Sleepy Peak is, I file it away... then, boom, that  _ very same day _ , I get a rando call from a man who was looking for some new workers in my field asking me to start a position. Here. Crazy, right?”

“Wait, so you left a job in New York to live near the lake?” Jasper nodded. “We’re four hours from the lake. People say two, but that’s bullshit, it’s only two hours if you double the speed limit. Those people are dumb.”

“Yeah, but it’s such a great place. I mean, the town motto is live, work, play.”

“We have a motto?”

“Yeah, on the website.”

“We have a  _ website? _ ”

“It takes a few minutes to load, but it’s very informative.” Jasper nodded, waving his hand. “You-- you don’t happen to know where he went by any chance?”

“No, no idea,” Robyn shook his head. “He said he was going out, but didn’t say where.” At the defeated look on Jasper’s face, Robyn felt compelled to say something more. “...But I  _ do _ know where he’s gonna be tomorrow night.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, this mutual friend’s throwing a house party, should be fun, David is going, I’m going... you wanna go?”

“Like… a date?”

“Yeah, like a date. Cause you’re pretty and you’re smart and you’re ignoring me, so obviously you’re my type…” Robyn trailed off, not bothering to finish his thought since Jasper was already lost in his head.

“I’m sorry. What were you saying?”

“Perfect.” Robyn chuckled.

“A party, huh…” Jasper whispered, seating back in his chair.

 

The next morning, even as Jasper wandered into the kitchen to wash out his coffee mug, he was lost in his own thoughts and world.  _ I’m going to a party, and David’s going to be there. _ When he turned around, Darla stood behind him, and he jumped in surprise. “Ah! Wow, you were  _ right _ behind me!”

“You’re in a good mood this morning,” Darla said.

“Yeah, ever just had a good day?” Jasper sighed with a smile. He grabbed the dish soap, and ran the water.

“So, I’ve been meaning to ask you…” Darla began, shifting so she was in Jasper’s line of sight. “What brings you here to our lovely little burg of Sleepy Peak?”

“Me? Here? Why am I here?... Just was looking for a change.”

“So, you don’t have any friends or family here, that’s intriguing…”

“Nope, don’t know a soul, just came for the job. What about you? Are you a Sleepy Peak native?”

“Hell, no. Grew up in Buffalo, so did my husband Gregg. We’re from a real place, with weather and depression.” Her phone rang, and she held up a finger. “Don’t move. I’m not done with you.”

Jasper nodded, pursing his lips as he overheard Darla’s conversation. “No, you listen to me, Tyler... I got that text and you can’t cancel speech therapy today, I paid for a package, and you still sound like Elmer Fudd... And tell Brendan I refilled his prescription and I’ll bring it home tonight and there is NO screen time until he takes his anti-psychotics.” Darla hung up, rolling her eyes. “Sorry, my kids are garbage.”

“Oh, I’m sure they are wonderful. They have a smart, sassy mom who clearly is the real boss of this office--”

“Okay, okay, enough with the blowie. Let me put this on the table: Something’s off about all of this, this whole thing--” She gestured to all of Jasper, “And it’s gonna drive me crazy until I find out what it is... it’s like when you can’t remember... the name of the guy who played Chachi.”

“I can google that.”

“That’s not the point, it’s a metaphor, follow along. One day I’m gonna look at you and say,  _ bam _ , I got you figured out, Scott Baio.”

“Okay, I didn’t follow all of that, but I also look forward to learning more about you, Darla. You and Gregg, Tyler and… briiiiaaaa... Brendan. It’s Brendan.” Jasper dried his cup and put it back into the cabinet, clapping his hands together, “now I gotta run, but you have a great weekend, okay, Boss Lady?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone wanna suggest names for misc. characters for the next chapters? I'm. Fresh outta good ideas. Oof.


	3. David Has A Boyfriend?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper’s phone buzzed, and he pulled it out of his pocket. “Oh. I don’t think David’s coming to the party, it looks like he’s at somewhere called… ‘Bitter Root Pottery’?”
> 
> “The wine and pottery studio?” Robyn supplied as Jasper returned his phone to his pocket. Robyn leaned towards Jasper again. “He’s probably at couples’ night with his boyfriend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *deviating from the script music*

Music bounded through the air, drawing guests in to the house party that was raging and wild. Jasper and Robyn were no exception, pulling up in Robyn’s car and strolling into the party with smiles of excitement.

“ ...Jasper?” Robyn asked. Jasper whipped his head around to look back at his date, whose face was riddled with concern. “You look like you’re not really paying attention… and glancing around a lot. Are you looking for David?”

“I’m just anxious to meet him again! We were _so_ close, and we haven’t had a decent conversation in so long it’s like, wild!” Jasper smiled innocently, glancing over Robyn’s shoulder at a redhead that wasn’t David. Damn.

“Didn’t you two talk in New York?”

“It was a passing exchange, really nothing, I’m just looking forward to catching up for a little bit longer than a little brush-up.” Jasper turned his head to check behind him.

“...Right,” Robyn nodded, raising an eyebrow as Jasper made eye contact again. “You know, it kinda seems like you aren’t really all that interested in m--”

“What? I’m _totally_ interested in you!” Jasper countered. “Like, _so_ interested!”

“Whatever it was between you and David, it feels like you have a thing for him, and you’re just using me as…” Robyn shook his head, trying again. “Listen, you’re very handsome, and I really like you, but-- are you attracted to him?”

“No! No, of course not!” Jasper defended.

“‘Cause I’d totally get it if you were. Good-looking guy, great conversationalist, has some _really_ good jokes…” Jasper placed a hand on either of Robyn’s cheeks and brought him in for a sweet kiss on the lips. Robyn pulled away slowly, smile spreading across his lips. “Woah.”

“I’m interested in you, ‘kay? The thing with Davey’s in the past, it was _way_ long ago anyway. _Ages_ ago. Trust me.”

“Got it, I’ll shut up about that,” Robyn said with a smile, pulling in to catch Jasper’s lips once more, who continued surveying the party over his shoulder.

Another hour or so of this--kiss, survey, kiss, survey--went by before Jasper’s phone buzzed, and he pulled it out of his pocket. “Oh. I don’t think David’s coming to the party, it looks like he’s at somewhere called… ‘Bitter Root Pottery’?”

“The wine and pottery studio?” Robyn supplied as Jasper returned his phone to his pocket. Robyn leaned towards Jasper again. “He’s probably at couples’ night with his boyfriend.”

“David has a boyfriend?” Jasper repeated too quickly. He pulled back, furrowing his eyebrows and looking directly at Robyn. “What boyfriend? His Facebook status doesn’t say _anything_ about a boyfriend. Who is he?”

“His name’s Daniel, and…” Robyn chuckled with a smile. “To be honest, I don’t think David’s updated his Facebook profile since he first started it.”

False, he uses it to check in and occasionally post about trees, and his profile picture and header are recent. “Oh, I see. Is he hot?”

“Yeah. He was a model… I think, and he teaches yoga.”

“So he’s flexible _and_ good looking,” Jasper whispered to himself, frowning, switching back to a tone Robyn could hear. “How long have they been together?”

“Quite a while… actually, I think David moved back here after finishing up school so he could be with Daniel.”

“Oh. He moved back to for Daniel.” Jasper said, eyes slightly wider as he gave a firm nod. “Good to know.”

“Y’know, you’re _really_ interested in David, even after you said whatever was in the past.” Jasper leaned in for a kiss, but Robyn pulled back. “You can’t just kiss your way out of this again, even though your kisses are… really, _really_ nice.”

Jasper opened his mouth to say something more, but just closed it, returning back to his normal posture.

“What’s _really_ going on?” Robyn asked, and at that, Jasper burst into tears. Robyn immediately went to hold Jasper in his arms, cradling him and comforting him while he cried. “Oh my g-- hey, it’s okay, what’s wrong?”

“It’s the alcohol, I swear it, nothing’s wrong…” Jasper weakly excused between tears and laughs, resting his head on Robyn’s shoulder. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m okay, just a freak side effect of drinking, right? Don’t you ever just… just… start crying? I know I do, when I’ve been drinking, but not because things are wrong because things are definitely _not_ wrong. It’s just the drinks.”

“You barely had any alcohol tonight,” Robyn replied with increasing worry.

Jasper pushed him away, trying in vain to wipe his tears from his cheeks. “Low tolerance, I _never_ drink, really.”

“But…” Robyn went to put his hands on Jasper’s shoulders, and Jasper took another step back, shaking his head with another laugh.

”I’m… gonna go call an Uber. And go home. Because I don’t feel good,” Jasper breathed, pulling up the collar of his shirt in the hopes of using it to absorb some of his tears. Before Robyn could say another word, Jasper was off at a pace faster than a walk but barely shorter than a run, up until he bumped into someone, crashing them both to the floor.

“Ow!”

Jasper gasped, quickly rolling off of her. “Darla! I’m so sorry!”

He stood and offered her his hand, but she got up without it, pointing an accusatory finger at him. “I knew I’d find you here, you lying piece of shit!”

“I’m--” Jasper’s tear flow thankfully slowed to a stop, but they might’ve helped him more in this case than anything. “What--Darla, what are you talking about?”

“Oh yeah? Well, you’ve got everybody _else_ fooled, but I’ve been around the block too many times! I _knew_ there was something up with you, something suspicious-- a Harvard and Yale graduate _has_ to have some ulterior motives to coming here!”

“There isn’t-- I--- I’m _really_ confused,” Jasper laughed nervously.

“Well, so am I!” Darla said, escalating her tone. “Because the last time I checked, you said you didn’t know anybody here!”

“I don’t!” Jasper helplessly rebutted, glancing around as a few people outside the party stared at the commotion and scene they were causing.

“You don’t? Then how about this name: David Buchanan!” Darla shouted, Jasper’s face paled. “That’s why you’re here!”

“Not so loud!” Jasper pleaded, eyes wide, holding both of his hands out in a show of surrender.

“I’ll say it louder!” Darla leaned towards the party, “David Buchanan!”

“Stop! Stop it!” He practically begged at this point, slipping around so he was between her and the party. “What do you want?”

“I want the truth,” Darla began, continuing before Jasper could explain, “but the thing is, I _know_ the truth, because you checked David’s Facebook profile 256 times since you got here, which was three days ago! Normal people don’t do that!”

“Did you-- did you _hack into my work computer_?” Jasper raised his eyebrows incredulously, head angling down with worry.

“That’s not the point! This-- this ‘David Buchanan’, you’re _obsessed_ with him!” Darla smiled, letting out a single laugh, putting her hands on her hips.

“Obsessed? I am _not_ … “obsessed”!” Jasper laughed, making air quotes with his fingers and jerking his arms and gesturing forward to show just how much he disagreed with her statement. “I don’t even know him anymore, he’s an old friend!”

“You love him, and you’re _obsessed_ with him!” Darla replied. “You don’t need to keep up the act anymore because I already know!”

“I _don’t_ love him, Darla, and I’m _definitely_ not obsessed! I knew him when we were little kids, and he just happens to be in the town that I got a job offer from!”

“Really? ‘Cause I talked to Cameron, and he said that _you_ approached _him_ for the job.” Jasper didn’t have a response for that, eyes wide and body frozen. Darla adopted a smug look on her face. “You just don’t want people to know you moved here for David.”

“Okay, well, _maybe_ I decided to move here after David’s recommendation, which has to do with Sleepy Peak itself and _not_ \--”

“You willingly moved from the most exciting city ever to a little blip on the map, a nowhere with no practical escape? Sorry, Jasper, but I’m calling bullshit.” Jasper started to say something else, but Darla held up a finger. “Up-bup-bup! Don’t say anything else. I know the truth, and I don’t want to hear any more excuses, but you’ll be relieved to know that I’m not going to tell anyone.”

He paused, narrowing his eyes, relaxing his shoulders and thinking. “You’re not?” He asked slowly.

“Of course not! This is like, the most romantic thing ever!” Darla smiled. Her tone was now less of a _‘how could you lie to me you scum’_ and more of an _‘i’m excited’_ , which confused Jasper as much as it caused him relief. “My life is _so boring_ , and yours is _exciting_ , so I’m gonna help you win David over!”

Jasper smiled, and it grew until he caught himself, coughing. “All of that’s good, but really, Darla, I didn’t move here for David, I moved here because he said it was a good town.”

“Uh-huh, you sure did,” Darla replied sarcastically. Jasper moved to argue, but she held out a hand. “Friends?”

Jasper gave a half-smile, taking her hand and shaking it. She sure was odd, but he liked it, even if she had the wrong impression of him.

His phone buzzed. He was quick to grab it, jaw dropping. “It’s David.”

“It’s David!” Darla exclaimed, looping around to look over Jasper’s shoulder. “ _Wanna grab dinner?_ Oh! He put a smiley face!”

“He put a smiley face,” Jasper grinned. _He put a smiley face._

 


End file.
